Craig (00:00):
Today we're going to be talking about my ex couldn't take no contact any longer. Isn't that wonderful? Oh, it sure is. You know, you guys are thinking the same thing, right? I can't take no contact any longer, right? When you're going no contact and you're leaving your ex alone. It's one of the hardest things that you have to do. And I had a nice discussion with somebody about that recently, who has a success story, and she's going to be writing me an email about what it was like for her to do no contact. But when you're not reaching out to your ex anymore, it's awful because now you feel just terrified that they're never going to reach out again.
Margaret (01:24):
And that they'll forget about you. Yes.
Craig (01:26):
Right? Which they do not. No, they don't, but we know why you feel like that. We understand why you feel like that. I felt like that, that you just think that the person's going to move on and it's so difficult to refrain from wanting to reach out, wanting to repair things, contacting them through any way possible. Even through friends and family, it's awful.
Margaret (01:53):
Both of which have to be not done. Don't do that. It'll get you in trouble.
Craig (01:59):
But we understand that when you're in no contact, it feels like an eternity. Every single day feels like an eternity. Every second of the day, you want to check your phone. I've been there. That's why I understand it so well. Cause I have been in that situation and I hated it. It's just the worst. And you watch your phone all day. That's all you do. Every time you look at it, you're just like, Ugh. Or every time it goes off, you're hoping that it's them. Right. That's so hard. But believe it or not, your ex isn't always certain about their decision. Even at the time that they make it. Now, a lot of the times they are certain in that moment in time, but that can change, right? Yes. Feelings can change. And you got to understand that it's hard to know sometimes what your ex is going through thinking or feeling for their situation with you. Cause it can vary based upon what happened in your relationship obviously. But you know, it would be easier for them if you were continuing to reach out when you go no contact and you no longer reach out to them, it makes it harder for them.
Margaret (03:19):
Yes it does. Yeah.
Craig (03:21):
Because they would like to know that you still want to be with them because then that option is there for them. And they don't feel so anxious about their decision. But when you choose to stop reaching out, that puts the pressure on them where they're wondering if you're going to reach out. But then they think, well, are they moving on?,
Margaret (03:45):
And they wonder if you're moving on. So you're kind of giving them back a dose of their own medicine.
Craig (03:50):
Exactly. But oftentimes no contact or when you're not reaching out to them is very difficult for them too. And sometimes they'll put posts up that you know, are about you, but you don't reach out. Sometimes they'll put posts that are implying about you. Right. And they're hoping that you're going to reach out to them because in that moment, maybe they're feeling some vulnerability or some confusion, but you know, you want them to reach out to make the first move.
Margaret (04:26):
Right. Right. The breakup, wasn't your idea of the ball's in their court.
Craig (04:29):
Exactly. So I've got a good email success story today and we haven't done a success story in awhile. No, but they remembered that we like to get success stories and share them with you guys,
Margaret (04:41):
Please, everyone. Remember we love to hear success stories. Absolutely.
Craig (04:45):
So when you have your success story, regardless of what it is with your ex, make sure you email me on the website. Okay. And you know, this is a really good one that I thought people would like to hear. So they said, well, coach Craig, I've been wanting to type this awhile now. Life's been busy. Then I remembered how you said you like to receive the success stories as well. On some of your videos. I spent almost five months going day in and day out in a scary haze after a breakup of over seven years, I was utterly lost in it. In every way I came across your videos. And most, every piece of advice I received from your chat or from your wisdom and knowledge on your channel, helped me get my ex back using no contact. Wow. By far the hardest thing I've ever had to do, considering the woman I lost, I always felt she was my soulmate. Somehow I still do after all this. Not one single text call email, nothing never once. Luckily I found you soon enough. I was determined. But after five months of no contact, she had found it to be almost impossible not to come to me wondering why things went no contact and realized what she had lost when we separated. That is big.
Margaret (06:31):
So she was expecting continued contact. Isn't that interesting?
Craig (06:35):
This is what we try and get you guys to see here. Right? She found it almost impossible not to go to him. And she was wondering why things had gone no contact. In other words, why he stopped reaching out,
Margaret (06:49):
You broke up with me
Craig (06:51):
And realized what she had lost and that's what we want your ex to go through. And that's why we stress the importance of working on yourself in that time. Right. That is the most critical thing because you don't know when they're going to reach out, they could reach out after a month, they could reach out after five months in this case, it could be a year later. Now we don't want you to put your life on hold, but we want you to grow in that time. So when they do reach out, you blow them away. Yeah. And I had a guy this week who was so depressed, just absolutely depressed. I think it was our third call together. And I got on him. I'm like, you've got to stay motivated because you don't know what's going to happen. After the first call, he, I think he's got a little bit more motivated than he kind of dropped. And then our most recent call. He's like, no, after our last call I've been working harder. Okay. So I quizzed him on some certain areas that I had told them to work on and he did better. And I'm like, keep going. You got to get yourself in the right position.
Margaret (08:00):
Because if she comes back and you're just the same, you were as you were when she left. Yeah.
Craig (08:04):
Yeah. But he's working really hard. Good for him. So I'm really proud of him. All right. Let me go on, to put then feelings into words is unexplainable. You're exceptional at what you do. And I can't express enough on how learning my attachment and reworking myself from inside out has changed my view on myself in a relationship. I couldn't afford coaching, but after much hard work done to myself after listening to so many videos and building myself up to that next level. And fortunately my ex had surprisingly done work on herself.
Margaret (08:52):
Wow. How wonderful.
Craig (08:54):
That is great. Through therapy, we were able to come to our senses and move forward with progress in learning and accepting each other for everything we are and are not. Sometimes I think back on the nights of laying there all night, trying to make sense of your videos and how it would work for me. Then it did, bam, late night call. She couldn't take it any longer
Margaret (09:28):
Great. He outlasted her
Craig (09:31):
And we worked it out from there. I am grateful to have found you. Thank you, coach Craig. You really have helped me change my life and relationship for the all around better. If it wasn't for these videos, I don't know how I would've made it through some of those long nights. That's the truth. You're the best at what you do. Stay positive. Add another success story to your list, coach. Thank you so much for sharing that. It's so encouraging to see you guys having success stories, hearing your guys' success stories and being able to share them.
Margaret (10:11):
So he did it himself just by watching the video. Wow. Yeah. That's great. Good for you.
Craig (10:17):
And there's well over 800 videos at this point and plenty more in the works.
Margaret (10:24):
I've heard that recently that somebody had counted them. Yeah.
Craig (10:28):
Well I know we've had certain people that we've worked with that have literally shown me that they've done all the videos. They literally showed me. Cause if you pull up your YouTube it shows the red bar on the bottom when you watched the video. Actually, I will let you know that my next project I have two people in mind that have worked with me quite a bit over the years. This one is one of them. Cause I know she's done the work. She is going to be previewing the project first to get an approval, to give me an approval and the new coach and approval and you to see it, to give us feedback,
Margaret (11:10):
That'd be wonderful. It is what I've seen of. It is absolutely wonderful. We will put the finishing touches on it.
Craig (11:16):
Yup. And by the time you guys see this video, it will probably be fairly close to being done. It's so exciting. But I have several people that are some of my best students that are going to look at it and preview it first because I want to make sure that you guys absolutely love what we have here. And I I'm fairly convinced that you will. But I just want to hear it from people that I know who have done absolutely tremendous amounts of work. So this is a great success story. And even though your situation feels hopeless, it doesn't mean that is one of the things that's the hardest to understand about being in no contact is that there can and will be a day for many of you where your ex does reach out again, despite going months of feeling hopeless and thinking they're never going to reach out, they often do. I mean, this example was five moths.
Margaret (12:16):
And this guy's partner was very honest with us, for which we thank her on saying she didn't really expect the no contact. She broke up, but she didn't expect the no contact. Yeah,
Craig (12:26):
Yeah, yeah. And you know, you guys have just got to stay working on yourself in this time. We know it's not easy when you're anxious and you're depressed. But the worst thing that can happen is that one day they pick up the phone, they want to see you, you get in front of them and you haven't changed and they see right through it
Margaret (12:47):
They'll see right through it. Right. Exactly. Particularly if they've changed.
Craig (12:54):
So you know, stay motivated. You never know what's going to happen either way. You're going to be a success story either. They're going to reach out and you'll have another chance with it or you're going to go on to meet and date amazing people with all this stuff that, you know, and you'll blow them away. Right, right. Right. Well, we'll see, you know, each person is meant to have their own destiny or future and whatever yours may be, you know, just make sure that it's great. Right, right. By doing the work.
Margaret (13:23):
And there's almost nothing that can't be changed if you're willing to work at it.
Craig (13:29):
Absolutely. And you can so great success story. Thank you for sharing it. And when you get yours, be sure to email me.