How To Make Your Ex Miss you
In this video, I’m going to explain what you must do to make your ex miss you. I’m going to start by explaining why most relationships fail. But, as you’ll see there is a direct correlation to why most relationships fail and getting your ex to miss you.
I have an email and after the email I’m going to give you 7 ways to make your ex miss you.
One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is due to anxiety. When we are in a relationship and feel disconnected from someone we start to feel anxiety.
When we get anxious, we do things such as criticizing, crying, withdrawing, getting angry, lashing out, manipulating our partner.
We are doing this as a way to pull them close and ease our comfort of anxiety.
When someone breaks up with us, and you didn’t want that relationship to end, most likely you want that person to miss you. We want them to regret their decision and want us back.
But then we start to have anxious thoughts. They’re going to find someone else. Or maybe you know they are dating someone else. You’ll be alone.
You have racing thoughts. Incredible and intense pain. Tons of emotions.
You may start to feel tremendous amounts of separation anxiety. Anxiety causes people to become irrational and not think straight.
Sometimes it can feel like your brain is in a fog and your ex is the lighthouse
When this happens many of us do things out of fear. When you do something out of fear it almost always leads to doing something that is unattractive.
Such as begging, crying, blowing up their phone, trying to talk to their friends and family. Trying to convince them to give us another chance.
The one that I always thought would work is the conversation. Trying to talk to them about the situation and explain why how much I cared and how I really wanted to work it out. This does not work!
In my mind, I thought I could just talk to them about the problems, get them to see my amazing personality and talk them into another chance.
None of those behaviors are attractive to your ex and even more importantly none of them work.
The answer is simple… But it’s the hardest thing you have to do. If you want your ex to miss you the best thing you can do is stop all contact with them.
The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to remove yours.
People have a way of knowing the minute someone loses interest in them.
I have an email here from a guy who has a lot of anxiety, he then loses emotional self control. I’m going to explain exactly what happens.
Hi Craig, so I really need your help. My girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. When she broke up with me I begged her to give me another chance. I lost complete control of myself. I don’t know what happened to me but it was the worst pain in my life.
Craig: I think most of us can relate to that. I’m sure you would have done anything to make that pain go away.
Emailer: She said she would think about it and to give her some time and space.
I couldn’t wait. I called her the next morning as soon as I got up. She told me she needed more time. I laid in bed most of the day. I thought through every scenario. if I could just get another chance with her I could make it work. I knew she liked antique shopping and I found a special antique store.
I thought if I could just take her there it would show her how much I loved her.
The more I planned a special day in my mind I thought it would have to work.
Craig: This is exactly what happens when you get anxious and scared. I did something like this too. I planned a special day to spend with the girl who broke up with me. Instead I decided to try the grand gesture instead.
Anxiety causes you to become self absorbed and focus on yourself and what you want. You lose the awareness of the internal world of others.
In this case she wanted time and space but he wanted comfort. He didn’t care about what she wanted.
This is a really important point. So I’m going to say this again. Anxiety causes people to become self absorbed and focused on themselves. They lose awareness of the internal world of others.
You lose the ability to hear other people’s needs. You lose empathy
Now I’m not talking literally. They don’t become a chair. It’s very complicated and I’m not going to take you guys to the deep end of the pool in this video.
Craig: Neither would have worked. I know you start searching for answers but your action needs to be INACTION.
Emailer: I waited until almost 6 oclock and I stopped by her house and told her my plans for our special day.
Craig: You can see how much pain this guy is in. His separation anxiety is so bad, he is literally counting the minutes before he contacts her.
I can see it because not only does he know the exact time, but he said almost 6 o’clock. Like 6 was his goal and he almost made his goal.
That’s the problem. His anxiety is overwhelming him. He probably thinks if he had made it the extra 4 minutes until 6 she would have been happy to see him.
Emailer: She got pissed. She said “I told you I needed time to think and you haven’t even given me one day. This is your problem, you don’t know how to act like a man.”
Craig: Brutal. Harsh, but she is trying to tell you something. You are doing things that turn her off and you keep doing them.
Do not contact her again for any reason.
1) You have to completely disappear. DO NOT CONTACT THEM FOR ANY REASON. This causes them to get separation anxiety.
2) You have to work on yourself. You have got to spend time really forcing yourself to grow emotionally so you don’t do any of the behaviors I talked about at the start of the video.
Start to get your anxiety under control. You have to become very conscious of your attachment style, recognizing what triggers your anxiety, and become more aware of how to manage it.
3) In time, the negative memories will start to fade and she will tend to focus more on the positive.
4) Appear unaffected by the break up- Go out with friends, go on dates, post pictures of you going out and living your awesome life.
5) A makeover can help start to see you differently too. New haircut, new outfit, do a hobby or interest that you’ve always wanted.
6) Do not attempt to change their mind about a break up. No amount of trying to reason with them or talking it out is going to make them want you back.
7) Time and Space- The hardest, but most crucial part of making your ex miss you is time and space. Get my coaching and I will help you. The biggest thing you can do for yourself is talk about it. That is how we heal and that is why going to therapy works. I can coach you through your difficult time. Go to AskCraig.net sign up for the coaching and tell me your story.
I recommend that you think about your behavior. How frequently and intensely you do the behaviors that I talked about at the start of the video. It may give you some insight into how anxious you are. Because many of you have been unconscious of your anxiety because you’ve had it in most cases, since you were 2 years old.