Craig (00:00):
Today we're going to be talking about a disturbance in the force. Well, I've mentioned this in other videos, but I thought we should do a specific video on here. And I had a good email that made me want to do a video on it. One of the things that I have seen over the years doing breakup coaching and looking at breakups is that, as we're desperately hanging on hoping to hear from that person, it just seems like forever before they reach out. And finally, where we get to the place where we're ready to move on. Maybe we started dating somebody new, that person reaches out. And the theory for us is that it's almost like they can sense a disturbance in the forest that something is telling them something's not right. They didn't think they were going to lose you and now they are losing you. And it happens time and time again. It's just one of those things that are unexplainable other than we see it all the time. And you know, some of you won't believe in it and that's okay, but I'm just telling you from behind the scenes with us, we see it a lot. Right?
Margaret (01:55):
And I've heard some people say they couldn't believe it at first, but wow.
Craig (01:59):
I've had people that literally got text messages on our Skype from their ex. They hadn't heard from them in months. Literally they were like, you won't even believe this. And I'm like, you better write a comment in the YouTube channel. People are waiting for their ex for months and they literally contact them during the Skype,
Margaret (02:20):
As you were having the conversations, some part of them heard it.
Craig (02:23):
It's so bizarre, right? Because you know, people ask about like the law of attraction and can you manifest stuff like that? And I don't know for me, I don't have a big understanding of that, but the way I see it, it's almost like when you completely let go and move on and you really do enough work to get to that place where you really are healing and moving on, that's when they come back.
Margaret (02:48):
And your partner somehow senses it. It's so bizarre. Right.
Victoria (02:51):
And it's that moment where you relinquish control, but you can really feel that moment of just like "I'm I feel like I'm getting over this" and boom. Yeah, that's right.
Craig (03:01):
So interesting. But you know, you can't fake it. You can't lie to yourself and be like, no, I'm over it. And then where's the text. That's not the way that it works. You got to really be over it. It's like once you really truly get through that. Yeah. It's, it's incredible how often that happens. And Margaret, you, you said you had a good example that when you
Margaret (03:25):
It started before I ever darkened the door of the school of social work, I was working for the child protective agencies and the clients that you had, there were often struggling with poverty, as well as whatever their other problems were. And so they would move a lot and you couldn't find them, when you'd go back to make another home visit. They weren't there. They had moved somewhere else. And so at that point we would have to close the case. And as soon as you picked up the pen to write the closing, the phone would ring and it would be them saying, don't close my case. Wow. Yeah. Somehow they knew.. Yes. And it happened over and over again.
Craig (04:04):
Okay. And many of you may be skeptical and rightfully so. You can believe whatever you want, but think for a minute, okay. Not in this particular breakup that you're going through because obviously you're still hoping they come back. But think about other exes that reached out. Have you had other exes that reached out when you finally let go and maybe even started dating the person that you just broke up with. Right. So think about previous exes that reached out to you that you thought you would never hear from them. Again, they went after that bad breakup with them, I'm never going to reach out to you. And how often do they say to you? I've been thinking about you for years. I thought about you every day. It's unreal. Yeah.
Victoria (04:47):
Right. And if you think about the ways that even you think about others, sometimes a random thought or something around you will remind you of that person and then you'll have the feeling of, "Oh, I should see how they're doing" . And how random that is. That must be the same for your ex as well.
Craig (05:04):
Yeah. I mean, I've had people say they had exes come back after 30 something years. I think that was the record was 30 something. Yeah. I know. I definitely remember when in like 27 years, I mean, those things stand out to me. So people do come back all the time and even when you think this situation is completely done, if you really get to a good place and work through your stuff and kind of move forward and move on, you're probably going to hear from them again.
Margaret (05:33):
And the more connected you are, the more likely you are to hear from.
Craig (05:36):
Yeah. So I got an email that I wanted to share. This was someone that did a coaching with me awhile ago. They said, hi, Craig, I did a Skype session in may of this year regarding my long distance relationship. I did what you said and diligently followed the rules of no contact to the T. I have some good news for you. It's truly strange, but it's true what they say, when you let go, things unfold super fast. So I finally let go and moved on from my past relationship and worked on meditation, self-love, et cetera. A new guy I am interested in as well as an old friend came into my life recently. And I went on a date with each. See, we have two people, right? I'm actually interested in one of these new guys, people I haven't spoken to in years reached out after only minutes or hours, I think of them very odd, right? The big news is that yesterday after almost exactly seven months of no contact, except for his mom reaching out, occasionally my ex wrote to me. Now, it's not super long. He reached out excusing to bother me, but would really like my help on something. A ridiculous excuse for help on some legal advice. She says, I'm a doctor specialized in cardiology, definitely not a lawyer, by the way. So, okay. Then you see it's an indirect, direct approach, right? Because it doesn't make any sense for him to do that. The funny thing is that as you and Margaret said multiple times in your videos, he reached out the very next day after I went out on a date with the new guy. Wow. LOL in bold. Right.
Victoria (07:34):
But that really puts somebody in a real predicament. If you're going out to date new people and now you get a text back from you're ex "what do I do now?",
Craig (07:43):
That is a great problem to have
Margaret (07:45):
I have too many of them instead of not enough. Yeah.
Craig (07:49):
But it's incredible that this is what happens time and time again. So she said I haven't responded yet. It's only been 24 hours and there's a difference of seven hours. I was thinking of answering politely tomorrow. So I remain calm and kind, thanks again for your help. I'm not sure I want him back at all anymore. So it's almost like when we get more balanced within ourselves, that the person comes back for whatever reason,
Victoria (08:20):
And it can be scary to make that move or to even think about it. Many of you guys might be thinking, I don't want to let go. I want to hold on. I want to hold on for hope and see what's going to happen with my ex and not meet new people, because what if I get over them? That could be a very real fear.
Craig (08:40):
I talked to somebody today that was like, "I'm kind of getting over them. I'm not really sure." And it's so interesting because it's almost like we get to a place where we're so stuck on our ex that we are almost afraid to let go of letting go. So very interesting stuff. And you know, it just is another example of what we see. And like I said, you don't have to believe in it. We're just sharing our personal stories behind it and what we see. There are obviously things that we can't explain, right? Yes. There definitely are. And this is just one of those things that we see behind the scenes and when it happens, we're like we got to tell you guys about it because it's really cool to hear an interesting to hear.
Margaret (09:28):
And I just want to say a word in favor of the concept of process. The in term right now is "let go of", but let go of, it's not that simple. Process is the right word. Feel it entertain it, make friends with it. Okay?
Craig (09:43):
Absolutely. So just one of the share this little email, I thought it was a good one. And think about your previous exes. Okay. In the situations where you had truly moved on, maybe you started dating new people, did you have other exes that come back because that kind of shows along what we're seeing here, why it works like this? I don't know. It's just something that we see, right? So hopefully you enjoy this video.