Today we're going to be talking about no contact and the Corona virus. Well, obviously we're in a very difficult situation all around the world right now. And we're in a very unique situation, at least for this time, because we haven't seen something like this in many years,
Margaret (01:04):
certainly in my lifetime, and God knows I've been around a long time. Yeah. the last major epidemic we had in this country was in 1918. Yeah. And that was a pandemic that the soldiers brought home from world war one when it ended. And that was called the Spanish influenza. Not because it originated in Spain, but because most governments tried to downplay it, but Spain had a free press and they let the world know what was really going on.
Craig (01:38):
So their reward for that was they got, they got themselves forever connected to it. Exactly. but obviously so many of your struggling with your breakup and you've been in no contact and now, Oh yeah. You're in this situation where you are really wanting to reach out and talk to that person I've had and see how they're doing. Yeah. I've had a lot of people message me, email me. People are asking me about it and Skypes in my email coachings. It's been coming up a lot. So we thought we'd talk about it. It's obviously gotten to the point where it's affecting everybody. Well, it's making everyone anxious for one reason or another. And if you're recently separated from a partner, the anxiety must be double awful because if you are still connected to that person and how can you not be, you're going to wonder how they're doing right.
Craig (02:39):
And you're going to worry. Yep. So we're going to talk about this. I had an email that I thought was a pretty much a good summation of what I think a lot of you guys were experiencing or are experiencing. And we're going to talk about this, is it. Hi Craig, you might consider doing a video on no contact these times of crisis. Like now with the Corona virus. I know I, for one, am having a very hard time keeping in no contact during this very unusual time in our lives. I have kept the temptation away up to this point, but every day, something else gets closed down or another risk is presented and it's getting a little tougher every day. This from a guy that was doing great with no contact for almost two months. Yeah. The scary headlines we see every day, make it tougher and tougher to not check in. Just thought this might be a good idea for a video. Thanks for all you do. And your great advice on our email coaching. Well, I think we can all relate to this. Absolutely. Because I know in my area, stores are closing earlier, school is now closed for several weeks. I've looked on, Twitter and saw people in Italy.
Margaret (04:11):
Italy is having a terrible time. And they were afraid that some of what happened in Italy could happen here in that, in Italy, it moved really quickly and they didn't have the hospital supplies or personnel to really deal with it. And that's one of the worries for here.
Craig (04:28):
Yeah. , I saw, I don't know if you saw it on the news international flights, people were waiting seven hours. They'd had to get checked or whatever at the airport. I mean, and you know, they're not getting tested.
Margaret (04:43):
And we didn't have time to prepare for that. So I'm sure the lines were horrific. You couldn't get back into your room.
Craig (04:49):
Yeah. Hours and hours and hours. So I think we all can relate to how difficult this is. If a breakup isn't bad enough. Now you're worried about toilet paper. believe me. You need extra toilet paper during a breakup.
Margaret (05:05):
Yes, you do. Absolutely. Right. But let me tell you one of my major worries about, , toilet paper, you know, those nice little bears, that little bear family that shows up advertising, what is it? Charmin, Charmin. And the little bear does the little dance and says, I'm, Charmin clean. What's going to happen to the bear family. If they run out of Charmin, I can't even think.
Craig (05:29):
I think they're probably fine. They're probably the ones that starting the hoarding. It's unbelievable. And we're so sorry for all of you guys suffering through this around the world. You know what I think it'd be great if you guys shared what was going on in your area, in the comment section. So you can talk about what's been different for you. How is your life been affected by this Corona virus? , because it's been so difficult. , you know, my thinking is that, and I know maybe some of you will disagree that when somebody breaks up with you, you have to leave them alone. Okay. I really believe that even in a situation like this, I know you desperately want to reach out. I totally understand, because I would be thinking it too, but I've done this long enough to know how relationships and breakups play out. , if somebody ended the relationship with you, I would leave them alone.
Margaret (06:37):
I would agree as harsh as it sounds.
Craig (06:41):
Tell me why Margaret,
Margaret (06:42):
because grief is a process and if someone breaks up with you, you want to leave them to their grief because in the process of it, they are grieving you and they may feel a little bit differently about the breakup after they have a chance to sit with the feelings for awhile. Yeah. Any time you have a contact, it stops that process.
Craig (07:07):
Yeah. And it kind of makes them pause with it for awhile
Margaret (07:11):
To go all the way back to the beginning. , so, if what you're looking for is reconnection. It's probably not going to do that for you. Yeah. I know. It sounds caring and you're genuinely concerned. I know that, but they can contact you if they changed their mind.
Craig (07:29):
Exactly. , some of you may be looking for an excuse to reach out though as well. Of course, because a lot of times we allow our brain to trick us into reaching out. Even though we're thinking, this is a bad idea, I shouldn't do this, but then you're like, Oh, but I'm only contacted about this to make sure they're safe. Well, there's probably some element of doing it so you can reconnect with them and you know, for your own benefit there too.
Margaret (08:03):
And how can they not know then that I care. Hmm.
Craig (08:07):
Right. Yeah. , you're you're feeling like, well, I should show them. I don't want them to think that I don't care, but they were the one that ended the relationship. Right. So they need to sit with that. They need to think about that. And if they're going through this themselves, this might give them the opportunity to think, boy, I wish she was here with me or I wish he was here with me and I miss them and, and let them see that life is going to be more difficult without you. That's part of it is you want them to realize life is going to be difficult without you. We want them to miss what you brought into their life.
Margaret (08:52):
And that's to sit with the consequences when realize, as Craig has always said that you're farther away than they had planned,
Craig (09:00):
But they're not getting those consequences. If they re if, if you're still reaching out,
Margaret (09:05):
Then you have it. Then you have it with the person who broke up, having it both ways. , they broke up with you, but they still get the contact with, you know? Yeah.
Craig (09:14):
So we know it's harder because before you may have been able to go out with friends and go places, go to the movies, go to sporting events or concerts or comedy clubs or whatever you were doing. , now you're more alone, you're lonely and you're really struggling. Right.
Margaret (09:37):
And they're closing down the bars and the restaurants and any place that you could have gone to, you know, enjoy some nightlife or even meet people. ,
Craig (09:46):
And you know, I had somebody mentioned to me that it hurts even more to know, well, there's a chance, depending upon where you're at in the world, that they're at home doing nothing. And they're still not reaching out to me.
Margaret (10:02):
Absolutely. And you know, they have time on their hands. Yeah.
Craig (10:05):
Yeah, yeah. And you got to think about that because if they have all this time on their hands and they're not distracted and they're still not reaching out, that tells you, you got to leave them alone. Right. Okay. And you know, it would be frustrating to be in that situation. , and it does hurt to know that they're not reaching out to see if you're okay. Right, right. Because right now they have the perfect excuse to reach out to you and see how you're doing. And that if they're on the fence about reaching out right now, this is it. They could just contact you and say, Hey, Howard, how are you doing? I just wanted to check on you. See if you're okay? Yup. So leave it to them. Yeah. Leave it to them to have that excuse. In fact, we're going to do another video on that because I had some other emails come up regarding the Corona virus, but we wanted to really focus and just get this one out to you today that we know it's not easy.
Craig (11:08):
We know that this is making it harder. There's a lot more uncertainty. Many people are not being able to work. You might be stuck at home. You're not able to work. You're not able to leave the house. You're not able to travel, can get lonely. It can get lonely. It's scary. You know, you go to the grocery store and it had nothing there. There's not a lot there. And you see everybody panicking. It's not an easy situation. We know, but Margaret and I talked about this before we filmed this. And we put, thought into how we think you should handle this. Right. Right. Right.
Margaret (11:44):
And I mean, a breakup is anxiety provoking enough, not to mention that the entire population is in a panic.
Craig (11:51):
Absolutely. Right. It is very scary there. And we understand, , you know, of course Margaret and I are affected on it on our end. Sure. And we're having to be a lot more, cautious and right. And thinking about how we live our lives and you know, not wandering into the store every time we feel like it. Yeah, yeah. Limiting where we're going or what we're doing. And thank you for all the kind comments that I've gotten on that worried about my health or Margaret's health. Thank you. but Margaret is 884. So she survived many, a long time, many flus, many plagues. They won't bring her down, but no, we really do think that it's important that you allow them to reach out to you. Because honestly, if you think about it, they have the perfect excuse. They don't have to think about their green socks or, if they left a bag of dog food at your house, or have you seen my favorite flyswatter, it doesn't matter because now they have a reason and let them use that reason.
Craig (13:00):
Okay. They need to show you that they care too. Right. I know it's not easy. And I know some of you have probably already broken no contact to see how they're doing. And if you did share it in the comments, right. Let us know what happened. That would be great. Yeah. We are very curious about how you guys are all being affected by this. Of course, we're still doing calls and that's not slowing us down. We're still here for you. , if you want to get our help personally, just go to my website, askcraig.net and sign up for the coaching option that works best for you. I do email coaching and I do Skype. Margaret is here for Skype coaching. Please contact me if you think I can be helpful to you, but that's it for this video.