I’m Scared My Ex Moved On
Craig: If you are going through a break up, one of the scariest parts is the fear that your ex will move on. It’s a realistic fear. In many cases your ex will move on.
As your coach, the biggest thing that frustrates me is when you guys get the opportunity with them and you screw it up. In many cases badly.
It’s not easy. I have a success story that I wanted to share:
Hi Craig
Long time no talk,
not sure if you remember me or not, however i left some of our previous conversations below also somewhere in there is previous Skype session details. Anyway. long story short we have a success story.
After my last session with you, things with my ex and i continued to go down a bit of a slippery slope, as much as I dont want to admit i still found it hard to let go, however little did i know she also was finding it difficult, she continued to get ultimatums from her new Partner who did not want her speaking or seeing me.
i found this difficult because it was creating a push pull between my ex and I so i did what you suggested all along and that was do my best to completely cut ties and walk away.
Even at training when we were both there i did my best to avoid and make minimal conversation.
She continued to try and reach out. A few weeks ago, she broke things off with her New boyfriend and said she wished she had done things sooner but was scared because she didn't know how i felt for her.
She decided it wasn't right to stay where she didn't love. she has started going to counseling to work on herself as she wants to be stable and a better person and she said she would love to give things another go with me after she continues to work on herself and gets to the stage where i can see and she can prove she is worth it.
She has gone over to Australia for a week to spend time with her Mum and when she returns she is going to sort out new accommodation and find a new job so she can get away from her old toxic environments and continue to work on herself and continue her weekly counseling sessions.
Anyway. i just wanted to give you and update and thank you for your advise it does indeed work.
I admit, at times I did not think it would happen, but you were right all it took was time and patience.
Thank you for everything.
Second email is from a woman in her mid twenties
Hi Coach,
I am a huge fan of your channel. Unfortunately, I feel like I found you too late. I’m embarrassed to say but I was watching these two other coaches before I came to yours.
I was with my boyfriend for 3 years. We broke up 2 months ago after we had a huge argument where I was jealous over one of his female friends. My ex has been friends with this girl since high school and they never dated.
But I was always jealous of her and hated her. She never did anything bad to me. Never spoke bad of me and never got in the middle of my relationship with her. But she’s really pretty and nice and I know she’s got a lot more to offer than me.
I hated it. It made me crazy any time she texted my boyfriend. I would sneak through his phone and see what they said to each other. He never gave me any reason to be upset and was only just friendly in the texts. But I couldn’t control myself.
Recently he was going out with some friends for her birthday dinner. He invited me but I told him I didn’t want to go. I really didn’t want him to go and I told him I had a migraine and begged him to stay home with me. He said he wasn’t going to miss her birthday. I was so pissed. I screamed at him, I told him he didn’t love me. I cursed at him and threw him out of the house.
The next morning he told me he needed a break. I lost it again. I blamed her. Said it was his friends idea to dump me. Asked him if he had screwed her that night. He just left and said “ you need some F in help”.
For 3 days I texted him, apologized and asked for another chance.
That’s when I came online looking for break up advice.
I started watching videos by some other coaches. There was this one who I thought seemed nice and was pretty.
I did a call with her. It was terrible. I honestly felt like she gives the same advice to everyone. She had no insight and quite honestly I wasn’t even sure she was listening.
She kept trying to talk to about doing a handwritten letter. She swore it would help. Then I go to look at his facebook and it says he’s in a relationship.
He’s such a great guy. I really screwed up. Thanks to your videos I realize that I have an anxious attachment style and had an attachment trauma. My parents split up when I was about a year old and I think it put a lot of stress on my mom.
Do you think he’s going to get serious with this girl? BTW its not his friend. I’m really scared he will. I know she lives about 45 minutes away from him.
Hello Coach,
Hope you have a happy lasagna day this weekend.
I want to just say thank you so much for teaching what you do. You are absolutely changing the world with the information you shared and have completely destroyed all the other BS on break ups. You seriously are a hero and I feel like you are a brother to me.
I messed up really really bad.
I am a 29 year old guy. My ex girlfriend is 27. We dated for 18 months. We met at a small festival and hit it off.
About 2 months ago we went out drinking and I had quite a bit to drink. A girl started smiling at me. Next thing I know we started dancing.
We started making out. I honestly don’t remember it but she was furious. There was a huge argument and she left with her friends.
She wouldn’t talk with me the next day. She said I’m going to show you how it feels.
So she went out with some of her girlfriends and they sent me a video of her kissing a random guy.
I felt like dying inside. I am so lost. I’m angry at myself and her. Did I cause this for myself? I’m trying to take responsibility.
A week later I called her and she picked up. She said she thought we were broken up and had even gone on a date with the guy she kissed.
She said she doesn’t know what she wants right now. That she has been seeing this guy every week and she is starting to like him.
I’m terribly confused right now and scared. I am really angry at myself for causing all this to happen. All I do is watch your videos all day long. It’s the only thing that makes me feel any better.
Is she over me? Is there any turning back from this? Should I ask her out?