Focus on what you want
In this video I’m going to talk to you about the importance of focusing on what you want to happen in life.
Our mind works in a way that we cause things to be true. The words and the beliefs that we tell ourselves actually affect everything that we do.
One of my favorite movie scenes is from Empire Strikes Back. Luke Skywalker is being trained by Yoda a 900 year old Jedi Master who is teaching him how to be in touch with the force. Learning how to levitate things with his mind.
So Luke had crashlanded his spaceship in the swamp when he landed on the planet. While luke is doing this crazy one handed hand stand levitating Yoda and some rocks.
Oh no! We’ll never get it out now.
So Certain are you…. Always with you what cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say.
Master moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different.
No! No Different. Only Different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned
Alright I’ll give it a try. No! Try not! Do or do not! There is no try!
I can’t. It’s too big… You want the impossible.
So Yoda, who’s 3 apples tall. I don’t. I don’t believe it… That is why you fail.
Luke didn’t believe he could do it… That it was too big… So it was.
The great Sigmund Freud believed that there are no No’s in the unconscious. Anything that exists in our unconscious is object seeking and affirmative. It’s a confusing theory that I don’t think Freud even was truly satsifed with.
You have to focus on what you want to happen in life. That is what you will create and cause to happen.
For example: When you’re driving, if you think I don’t want to get into an accident, I don’t want to get into an accident. Your brain doesn’t understand DON’T. All it hears is GET INTO AN ACCIDENT.
I don’t want her to leave me, I don’t want her to leave me. Everything through that filters is fearful and you do everything that will unconsciously push her away, and cause her to leave you.
Think about it, all your brain is focused on is trying to not get them to leave you. So you cling, you try to control them, you pull them to you, which causes the other person to feel trapped and resist you.
I got an email from Abby today that says Hi Craig, your channel is great and I really need relationship advice. I think I met somebody nice but I’m not sure how they feel about me. He is very sweet. We have been out on 2 dates. He treats me nicely and tries to please me in bed. He is not an asshole at all. I told him I’m starting to like him and he didn’t say anything back.
So she’s coming on a little too strong for him and he’s going to feel trapped (watch my video I feel Trapped In My Relationship and The Struggle of Intimacy)
Abby: I don’t want to scare him but I turn down other dates to be with him.
So, by saying I don’t want to scare him, the only thing her minds is scare him. Everything she is going to do is scare him, she already is. BUT she’s conscious of the fact that she is scaring him.
To me she’s an anxious attachment style. In a prior email to me she told me about a guy who she had a one night stand with. She said the guy was a jerk and it felt more like abuse.
She said I hooked up with a total jerk last week and I was sore for a week. I felt like a piece of crap. First and last time for that.
I want him to ask me to be his girlfriend but I don’t want to rush him. What should I do?
This is exactly what I’m talking about she says “I don’t want to rush him” but that’s exactly what she’s doing. She rushes him by wanting him to ask her to be exclusive after two dates.
The beliefs that you have and all the things you tell yourself affect everything that you do.
If you say math is hard… You make math hard for yourself.
You have to focus on the positive things that you want to happen. Be aware of all the things you believe. Learn to be conscious of the things you are telling yourself.
If you want to do something to help yourself. Write down a list of all the qualities that you want in a woman. You’ll start to attract a woman with them. Part of the reason is that you’ll start disqualifying women that don’t have those qualities.